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Break Up|Divorce
How
To Save My Marriage Now!
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Marriage Counseling To Stop Divorce
It is common for couples to rub the wrong way and
quarrel now and then. However, when the word "let's divorce" is angrily spat
out by either party, it could be merely out of anger or spat. If you cherish
your family and kids, and still love your partner no matter how angry or
frustrated you are, then it is time to save your marriage to stop the downward
spiral which may lead to an ugly divorce and a broken family. This is the time
when both of you need to go for a marriage counseling therapy.
Marriage
counseling is the last thing couples want to go through. But if it can save
your marriage, then it is well worth it. The question is how to find a good
marriage counselor? Well, here are some guidelines.
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Firstly, it is important to find a
marriage counselor whom both of you like and feel comfortable with. After you
called or interviewed the counselor, ask yourself these questions:-
a)
Does the marriage counselor seem interested in you? Use your intuition to feel
his/her level of empathy.
b)
Does he/her ask you questions to get enough significant information about your
marriage?
You
see, a good marriage couselor will create an environment where both of you and
the therapist can feel safe and comfortable to discuss any issues no matter
how ugly and embarrassing these issues are.
Then
you need to check on the experience and track record of the marriage
counselor. Ask to see his/her training certifications and success rate in
helping couples to successfully to save their marriages. Ask the therapist to
provide names of clients that have succesfully saved their marriages and those
who failed and call these referrals to ascertain the professionalism of your
prospective counselor. Do not be shy about this because if the counseling
fails, you will be looking starkly at the prospect of an ugly impending
divorce.
As
such, find a counselor who has been in practice for several years and who
counsels at least six or seven couples per week and who can show you that
he/she has specialized training. It is crucial to find a counselor who is
truly a couple's therapist and not merely a counselor trained to work with
individuals who happens to see couples. This is because there is a risk that
the therapist will treat individual unhappiness and not effectively address
the couple's specific issues.
This
may be common sense, but in the fit of an emotional trauma and anger may be
overlooked. Do find a counselor who is affordable and geographically
convenient. Otherwise, either you or your spouse may come up with excuses like
""we can't afford it" or "it is to much of a hassle" to derail the progress
you can make to save your marriage.
Now,
make sure your therapist believes in the institution of marriage. You may not
know this, but some marriage counselors actually may tell you that divorce is
the best option and helps you to facilitate divorce proceedings such as
introducing you to divorce lawyers and then counsel you on the emotional
traumas of a divorce. These are divorce counselors, wherein the he/she helps
the couple to separate rather than stay together.
So if
facilitating a divorce is not your objective and barring incidents like
repeated illicit affairs, drug or alcohol abuse and or domestic violence etc,
then it is certainly prudent to make sure that you see a marriage counselor
who believes in the institution of marriage.
If
you or your spouse have a special problem, then go to a specialist in that
field instead of a general practitioner marriage counselor. Such issues could
be drug or alcohol abuse, sex addiction or domestic violence just to name some
examples. Thus the counselor that you choose must be skilled in addressing
these issues. Many counselors often choose a niche that they are passionate
about and thus you can benefit from their additional knowledge and training in
those specific areas.
So if
you really want to save your marriage and believes that divorcing your spouse
is the last option, then finding a good marriage counselor and going for
marriage counseling could indeed save your marriage. One such expert in saving
marriages and stopping divorce I know of is Dr Lee Baucom Ph.D. He has saved
thousands of marriages in more than two decades and his work is still helping
couples all over the world to stop divorces and it can also help you. To see
what Dr Baucom has to say concerning your marital struggles, click How
To Save My Marriage Now!
Best
Wishes
The
Love Guru
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